Friday, January 29, 2010

Richmond ... Snow is coming! Snow is coming! Head to Ukrop's!

I grew up in Richmond with the snow warnings and Ukrop's runs and everything else this article tells us about. My mom, who is snug in her home in Richmond fully stocked up on provisions and looking forward to the snow, sent this over for a few giggles. Those of you in Richmond ... head to Ukrop's!
According to the Richmond Times-Dispatch and every meteorologist in town, Richmond is going to get a nice snowfall this weekend … up to a foot, some people say. The snow is supposed to start as early as Friday afternoon and continue into Saturday.

In case you're new to Richmond, let me tell you how we do it here.

- Someone, somewhere, says snow is coming to Central Virginia.
- We Richmonders start paying attention.
- Someone says it's coming to Richmond.
- We Richmonders really start paying attention.
- Someone brandishes the word "accumulation."
- Done. Finished. Over. We who call Richmond home all-out lose our minds. In the case of this snow, it happens like this:

Tuesday morning: The word "accumulation" is used.
Tuesday afternoon: Accumulation confirmed. All weekend plans put on stand-by or out-right canceled.
Tuesday evening: First trip to Ukrops for bread, milk, and cookie dough.
Wednesday morning / afternoon: Calls around town for sleds begin. For the record, is one step ahead. No one has any sleds but Pleasant's is expecting a shipment on Friday.
Wednesday evening: Second trip is made to Ukrops for extra bread and milk, plus frozen pizzas and non-perishables, because you never know. Local news does a story about the 'run' on Ukrops for bread and milk.
Thursday morning / afternoon: Spend workday obsessively checking the forecast. More calls for sleds. Search online for sleds, but decide against them because you can't believe how much sleds actually cost.
Thursday evening: Meet friends out for dinner because you never know when you'll get out again. Realize you forgot to buy bagels. How could you forget bagels? Third trip to Ukrops.
Friday morning: Alternate staring out window for snow and consulting forecast for exact snow start time. Cancel the rest of your weekend plans.
Friday afternoon: reports that it is snowing in your area. Run to window. Spend at least an hour yelling at because it is clearly not snowing. Ask boss about company's inclement weather policy. Complain about said policy. Wait an hour; ask boss if company is closing early.
Friday evening: Fourth trip to Ukrops, on the way home, for last-minute necessities - like chocolate and fancy hot cocoa. Alternate staring out window and watching local news for exact snow start time. Watch the Closings scroll to see if your work is closed on Monday, because you never know.
Friday night: Snow finally begins. Call/text all of your friends and family to see if it's snowing in their area and to make sure they're OK in the storm. Update Facebook status to reflect snowfall, in case you missed anyone. Order pizza so you don't have to break into rations too soon.
Saturday morning: Marvel at snowfall. Fling pets / children into the snow so they can marvel and so you have pictures for your Facebook page.
Saturday afternoon: Drive or trudge to nearest hill and attempt to sled on a cookie sheet/shower curtain/trashcan lid/pool float.
Saturday evening: Meet friends out for dinner to celebrate the snow.
Sunday: Eat leftover pizza and stare out the window, watching the snow melt. Obsessively watch Closings list. Feel happy when the schools in your county will be closed, and then sad because you never became a teacher --- and now you have to go out, clean off the car and then go to work tomorrow.

PLUS - you've got all that bread and milk to eat and drink!
Too funny ... and too true. We Richmonders, even those of us who have relocated to other areas of the state or country, still know the drill when inclement weather is on the horizon. I'm heading to the grocery store -- sadly, there are no Ukrop's in the Shenandoah Valley -- stocking up on wood, and ready to get the chili pot going. The snow is coming!

H/T to Mom ... enjoy the snow!

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